Screams

Eyes wide burning with tears
trying to see through the darkness

I hear the screams the cries for help,
but I feel nothing I am heartless
Running away as fast as I can
as the sounds become faint
I stop for one second as the sun burns my skin,
I turn around, but to late

My thoughts are constantly divided,
a playground for good and bad

I must say evil is winning,
and numbness doesn’t feel so bad
There are words being spoken around me,
don’t know if I should listen
My ears are deaf to repetitive advice,
my thoughts a constant contradiction

So easy to pretend I have no control and everything is out of my hands

Float through each day, from one to the next, as if my feet can’t land
I know I used to speak, I used to have so much to say
I open my mouth but the words won’t come, and for a while it’s been this way

With each sarcastic sly remark, shot at me at close range

Backs turned on me, walks in the opposite direction, which always felt so strange
I slowly began to be able to retain all real human emotion
They live inside me haunting my dreams, the ingredients for a perfect potion

Although I meet them seldom, sleep is something I have lost

It was taken away along with my soul, life lessons at an unfair cost
Punishment for giving me to those who could not appreciate sincerity
Is sitting in silence, in the loudest quiet, without one moment of clarity

But why complain, why react, why prove that they have won

That would be admitting I’ve been defeated, something that can’t be done
My strength is my motivation and in the end I will prosper
No matter how long this pain remains my reflection says “she’s here you haven’t lost her”

There’s a voice coming from somewhere in the back of my mind

I find myself not running anymore, but searching for something I can’t find
My heart is racing, I feel the moisture on my face, and I’m running out of time
The voices become louder as I’m getting closer, that’s when I realize all along

The screams were mine..